And Yet…

By: Autumn Elizabeth

After reading what Jenni had to say about safe touch this week, I couldn’t help but think about how many deep issues her simple post brought up.  As a woman of faith, a woman who believes that Jesus was given life by a woman, a woman who has survived the traumas of bad and unsafe touches, I can’t help but wonder how it is all supposed to fit together.

I wonder about how a faith that was literally born of a woman can sometimes hurt women so much and so deeply.  I’ve seen Christians grab women, throw things at women, and scream horrible things at hundred of women who are simply trying to feel safe in their own bodies. This behavior horrifies me, and yet, as a the very same book that they use to persecute women, tells me “judge not lest ye be judged.”

I wonder how I am supposed to forgive the people whose touches have not been safe for me. Is it really wise to forgive the man who bruised my arm or broke my finger, the man who stole my childhood, or the man who almost raped me? And yet, the message of the bible, and so many other holy texts, is one of love and forgiveness.

I have seen human touch break people wholly, and yetI have watched one safe touch restore lost faith. I have seen a hug save a life and handshake change the world. The sins of others are written on my soul and the bad touches of the world scar my body, and yet…I know, beyond any doubt, that a loving touch gives me far more faith than unsafe touches take away. The world is a scary place and yet, as Robert Frost says, ” it’s the right place for love” .

So when the demons come calling, when the doubt creeps in, when I can’t figure out how it all goes together  I try and remember that there is almost always something more. Nothing is perfect, and yet…..

About Autumn Elizabeth

Autumn Elizabeth is a writer, scholar, and outlaw. She is the author of My Life as Herbst and the Editor In Chief at Searching Sophia's Pockets.

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